The Nest

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The Nest by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney is one of the big buzzy books of 2016, I keep hearing about this book, and I sent the publisher an email asking if they would please please please send me a copy, now I wish I hadn’t. (Not that I’m not grateful, I am, I’m just very very disappointed).

The whole plot of this book was to get four siblings together in order to decide what happens to the nest egg that their parents left behind, seeing as how all of the siblings need money. The whole back bone of this book is about family, how to forgive, how to reconcile and how to have different opinions yet still love each other. We meet the Plumb family before they get together, and each one of them is a joke.

First off, this book is FILLED to the brim with characters that I don’t really care for, and I’m tired of reading about. Let’s just say they are all cliche, caricatures of real people and it’s bullshit. For example, the first Plumb sibling I want to talk about is Bea. She is an aspiring writer who just can’t get her shit together. Really? Another one? I just, I don’t want to hear about this starving artist bullshit anymore and reading about Beatrice in this book made me want to scream. If you want to write a book, write a damn book. It’s not like anyone is going to push you to do it these days-the longer you take, the less likely you are going to do it. There’s no point in drawing out this crap for pages and pages to get the point across that the writer in the book has a shitty writing life, ugh. If Bea isn’t going to do anything but whine, I just don’t care.

Let’s add on to the cliches, shall we? Jack, Bea’s older brother is a gay antique shop owner. Does he wear sparkly paisley shirts too? Seriously, I don’t understand why there has to be one stereotype after another. Did you know that if you are gay, it doesn’t automatically mean that you are either a hair stylist, retail worker, or fashion designer? I’m ready to see a gay man with a job that doesn’t consist of a stereotype. It’s 2016, let’s get our shit together here people. Where’s my gay lawyer? Where’s my gay business person? This is not a black and white world anymore, we need to see people in different lights now!

I just want to back track a little and tell you how the story begins. The eldest Plumb child, Leo, who is actually not a child at all and is well over 40, gets into an accident after he picks up a waitress at his cousin’s wedding. This incident causes him to be checked into rehab, his rehab stint then doesn’t really do much to alleviate his desire for booze and drugs, though. I mean, *cough* another cliche. Beyond that, Leo is an asshole, who acts like he deserves the world on a silver platter, but if you grow up a cliche I guess that’s expected. He’s selfish, blah blah blah, you get the picture.

The saving grace of this book was Melody. The mother of twin teenaged girls, over protective and sinking financially. A cliche, but one that I could actually relate to in many ways. Her daughters are sneaky and get into things that they shouldn’t, and she needs some of the nest egg to get herself out of a sticky situation, and to get her kids into college.

I am pretty sure I gagged on a cliche on every page of this book. I can’t deal with any more pretentious assholes who think that they deserve shit just because stuff isn’t working the way they are accustomed to it working. I could relate to hashing things out with siblinbs, and trying to get along with each other. I have four siblings and only talk to one of them, but I just thought this book was a big fat phony waste of time. It’s a piece of crap wrapped in a beautiful cover. 1 out of 5 stars.

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